While I realize these comments are not from the majority I would like to take a moment to help heal these seemingly hurtful thoughts and projections.
These comments are usually things like "I want the teacher to spank my child if he isn't listening.". or "Just wean that spoiled toddler now" or
( when relating to breastfeeding in public ) "How disgusting! How would women like it if I exposed my penis?" and so on.
The question is why? Why are these people so angry at children and their need to be understood? What have these small innocent people, barely starting out in life, done to deserve this?
Is this a case like so many others where the people who are screaming the loudest are those hurting the most?
Babies and children have feelings too. Very tender and sensitive ones I might add. We were all babies once and although many do not remember, we all needed love and patience. Some of us got less than others and some got almost none at all.
Is this why some people think is it ok to strike and or spank a baby or child into submission?
Is it because it is easier not to deal with all the hurt and just repeat what was done to them by callously repeating the same pattern? For to make a kinder choice would mean reexamining and reevaluating.
It may seem easier to just lash out all that anger but lashing out has never healed anyone. Being healed of emotional pain makes life so much more livable, so much more rewarding. It is like a weight from your heart has been lifted and now you can breath.
BREASTFEEDING
On breastfeeding many adults were not even held often as babies let alone breastfed.
Many have deep rooted hurtful sub-conscientious unresolved feelings.
At one point we all had strong feelings of wanting to be held and cared for.
Toddlers and babies today still want the closeness that breastfeeding provides.
Does this make them " little spoiled monsters"? Even though they are born as we were with the right to have someone who loves them unconditionally and who gives of them self in this most beautiful way.
Our species was created for long term nursing !
About nursing keep this in mind. It should be something both mother and child enjoy but even if you want to wean a gradual process is beneficial over an abrupt one.
For those that are enjoying this special bonding experience you need not submit to peer pressure.
The Bible mentions nursing over 3 1/2 years as being normal.
Our species closest relatives the Chimps ( who develop faster than humans ) nurse 4 1/2 years in the wild and orangutans nurse 7 years in the wild. So how can your baby be spoiled by wanting what he needs?
We are long lived species that has a life span of 70 or more years not one that has a life span of 10 -14 years and nurses 6 weeks. We are a very slow developing species that needs lots of time to develop.
Breastfeeding is for calming, nurturing, health, bonding and of course nourishment. TO SPANK OR NOT TO SPANK
The evidence against spanking is enormous.
Children need both parents as extremely important sources of love and understanding.
Many adults today had parents who it seemed were just waiting for a slip up or a mistake to unleash physical or psychological harm on them.
These were the very people you were suppose to trust!
How confusing to think your closest person is someone hitting you or getting angry with you.
Why do this to another generation? First forgive your own parents.
It is ok to admit maybe they were scared themselves and did not know what they were doing.
Then do something better.
What do you think your small sweetheart will have to look forward to when his/her biggest chance of being understood (you) has decided it is time for aggression and no more Mr. or Mrs. nice guy?
Children make mistakes.
When you become a parent it is time to give and give some more. Give patiently. Besides making mistakes children are very needy.
They are helpless and totally dependent and it takes time, lots of time to grow less needy and more independent.
Since they are needy if yours has any hope of becoming a confident adult you should be very patient and kind to him or her. Love and patience does not make a child or baby spoiled.
As your child gets older guide him towards doing what is right and following the rules. A constant understanding guide is so much more valuable than someone to be feared and later on rebelled against.
Understanding and patience mixed with teaching, communicating and guiding goes a long way.
It is not a choice between I will ignore what you do or I will withhold love, strike you and be angry with you.
There is so much to be said about teaching and guiding consistently.
Back to the spanking issue for a moment.
All the research shows spanking does not work and only causes worse problems, but that is another article.
I will say that 99% of violent criminals were abused, hit or spanked as children. So spanking does less than little to stop the problems in the world.
Many say " well I was spanked and I am fine." Are you really fine? With the current issues facing our country I notice too many people who are not so fine.
The amount of tranquilizers and antidepressants that doctors prescribe show many people are not feeling so fine and the unfortunate over drinking of alcohol shows the strong need for people to relax and drown out their thoughts. Many have come to accept this as normal but it is an indicator that many people are not really as fine as they think.
I do believe the world is mostly a beautiful place and life should be a rewarding experience and that good and light prevails over darkness, I just think we can all get there in our own lives by being the best we can be and that means being our loving self.
Not our selfish self that is in pain but our patient loving self.
I pray for our hearts to be healed.
